


This is It

by lemotmo



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, Episode: s05e03 Jefferson Lives, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-09-10
Updated: 2005-09-10
Packaged: 2019-05-30 23:42:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15107222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemotmo/pseuds/lemotmo
Summary: Josh kisses Amy.  Why?





	This is It

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**This Is It**

**by:** Ellen 

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna, Amy  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Amy, Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance/Angst  
**Rating:** YTEEN  
**Disclaimer:** The characters belong to Aaron Sorkin, et al  
**Summary:** Josh kisses Amy. Why?  
**Spoiler:** Jefferson Lives  
**Written:** 10/5/03  
**Author's Note:** This was written after I had read about the promo's for 'Jefferson lives'. Yes ... that episode. You all remember that one, right? Just to refresh your memory ... Amy ... feet. Anyway, the episode hadn't aired yet and I was just struggling to give the whole J/A-scene a reason. So, I wrote this story based on the promo. 

`This is it. I've finally done it.' 

He was staring straight into her eyes, but felt nothing bigger then a small sliver of affection. A remnant from the time when he had actually briefly thought that she was 'the one'. Only a few seconds ago his lips had been on hers. He had kissed her. They had shared a solemn kiss, devoid of all passion. Now he knew for sure, there was nothing left there, only memories. It wasn't a kiss filled with promises for the future but a calculated, well-placed farewell. 

"Goodbye Amy." 

She knew exactly what he meant by that and didn't mind at all. She had never really loved Josh and she was now sure that he shared the same feelings. Still, they had had some great times together and in a way, she was going to miss him … not much though. Someone else would come along eventually. That was how it always went, one man left and another entered. No regrets, no tears, no pain. She focused her attention back on Josh and after one final wordless smile she slowly turned around, walked towards the door and exited his office and his heart. A heart that, she knew, had been pre-occupied with someone else for a very long time. 

Still deep in thought, his eyes were transfixed on the open door, seeing nothing of what was going on in the bullpen. Finally he realised someone had entered and he slowly refocused again, looked up and unexpectedly met her gaze. Not Amy's cold eyes, but a pair of big blue eyes filled with pain and anger. Eyes that belonged to a blonde, intelligent, gorgeous woman that had just witnessed something which her brain could not comprehend. She had seen the ending of a stranded relationship, but her heart had failed to notice just that. 

Not really knowing what to say he slowly opened his mouth, only uttering her name. 

"Donna …" 

Upon him whispering her name like that she cringed. 

"Don't Josh … just … don't." 

"But, Donna, you have to let me explain." 

"No, I don't. I really don't Josh. I've had it with you." 

"Donna, please …" 

"All right … Fine … explain it to me. Explain why you have done nothing but complain about `her'. Endless and endless hours of complaining Josh … in the office, on the phone, at my place when you had nowhere else to go. And I was there for you, I always listened and supported you. And yet, somehow you both end up in your office, you sticking your tongue in her throat. Well, doesn't sound there is a lot of explaining to do for that, is there now?" 

Knowing exactly what he wanted to say to her, but not being able to put it in words he just kept quiet. It was with great shame that he realised he was not strong enough to just tell her what he felt in his heart. This was the decisive moment and he was faltering. 

Donna had never been one to back down. If anything, his silence and reluctance to speak made her feel even stronger. 

"No, whatever you have to say … or, as in this case, whatever you have `not' to say. It's too late. I just … I thought that we were heading somewhere here, some new place we haven't been before. But, silly me, guess I was wrong about that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have wasted enough of my time on you, I have better things to do." 

With a voice deprived of all warmth, she looked him square in the eye and said only one thing. A sentence that threatened to shatter his hope. 

"Time to move on." 

Quickly she turned around, ready to make a run for it. For she knew that tears were not far away anymore and she would not give him the pleasure of seeing her cry … over him. 

"No, you're not leaving. I won't let you." 

With a speed he didn't know he possessed he grabbed her arm with his right hand and slammed the door shut with his left. He gently, but firmly put his hands on her shoulders to keep her from running away. Now, they were standing face to face. Much like he had been standing with Amy a few minutes ago, only this felt so different. So much more important and real. 

Feeling startled and knowing that he wouldn't let her go that easily she refused to meet his eyes and kept staring at her feet. 

"Donna, look at me …" 

No reaction though. 

"Please … Donna?" 

He gently removed his right hand from her shoulder and lifted her chin so he could look her straight in the eye. 

"Ask me." 

"Josh." 

"Ask me, Donna." 

She could hear the stubbornness in his voice and knew he wouldn't back off until she'd ask him the question, but she didn't give in. 

"Amy, you … kissed her. I saw you." 

"Yes, I did. I kissed her … I kissed her goodbye, Donna." 

"Goodbye?" 

"Yes … Donna, ask me why." 

Suddenly feeling very tired and having lost her strength to fight she finally caved and with a quivering voice she managed to utter the one word he desperately needed to hear. 

"Why?" 

Silently studying her beautiful tearstained face, he answered. 

"Because I needed to say goodbye to Amy before I could say hello to you." 

"M-- Me?" 

"Yes, I realised I couldn't properly tell you what I needed … and I guess … what you needed to hear without having closure with Amy." 

Just staring at him, Donna could not believe what he had just said. 

"Me? Are … Are you sure." 

A soft chuckle escaped him. 

"My Donna … you have never truly realised just how valuable you are to me. Have you?" 

Not really expecting an answer he protectively cradled her face in both hands and just looked her in the eye. 

"It's you Donna. I has always been you." 

Donna knew Josh better than anyone and when she heard his voice and met his truthful eyes she realised that her quest was over. She had received what she had been waiting for since the first day she had discovered that she loved him. She closed her eyelids and revelled in the feeling of having his hands on her face. He was touching her and it felt so good. 

"Josh?" 

"Yes." 

Lazily she opened her eyes again and slowly covered his hands with hers. A small smile caressed her mouth when she finally spoke. 

"Hello." 

That was all he needed to hear. She had given him a sign. A sign that it was okay to touch her and to love her, because she felt the same. He silently leaned in and gently met her lips for the first time. 

This wasn't a cold, dead kiss as the one he had shared with Amy. This was a kiss filled with passion and love. But most of all it was a kiss with promises … lots and lots of promises for the future. Only one thought crossed Josh's mind when he was amidst the discovering of Donna's mouth. 

`This is it. I've finally done it.' 

~THE END~ 


End file.
